Confessions of a Wannabe World Changer

It’s confession time.

First, that post I promised you last week, the second piece of the origin story? It’s coming next week.

But most important, one of the key tenets of Rebel Yogi is this: you, fellow change maker, are just as important as the work that you are doing.

That means it’s important to take time to take care of yourself – getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet at consistent times, getting out and moving your body, taking space for yourself – among other things.

At the time I wrote this post:

• I had gone to yoga twice in the previous two weeks; two classes in two days, and then nothing for 10 days.
• I spent an entire day hunched in front of my computer, stressing about getting things done, all knotted up inside, to the point that my stomach hurt from the tension.
• I sat down one morning to finish up a few details for getting a blog post out, and forgot to eat until it was almost 4 pm.

Some might say that I’m doing a terrible job at doing my own work, practicing what I preach – however you say it, I’ve been negligent to myself. I’ve fallen right back into old patterns without even realizing it.

But, one of the reasons that I’m bringing this to light and sharing with you today, is that this is a journey. I’m giving myself a pass, acknowledging that I’ve stumbled, and knowing that the reminder is good for me. One stumble does not a total failure make. The times that we trip over ourselves just happen – we’re human. The key is forgiveness, and the commitment to pick yourself back up and set yourself back on the right track.

Stumble, fall, get back up. Repeat. The rockiest paths often bring us to the most stunning views.

And, the yoga class that I did after ten days of nothing? It felt so good.

I’m leaving for the Ashram in just under a week and a half, and I have spent way too much time freaking out about how much I have to do before I leave. I’m living in the future, worrying about something that has yet to happen, sending my body all these messages that give it permission to knot up and get out of balance.

Another confession: the phrase “OMG I’m leaving in two and a half weeks” left my lips a solid 25 times during one particular day last week, much to the chagrin of everyone listening.

I think the key is admitting that we’ve stumbled, taking a moment to learn whatever we can from the moment: what set of circumstances set us up for the stumble, how can we avoid the same situation next time, how we can more delicately tread a similar path moving forward, or even just how to recover a with a little bit more grace.

For me, this means acknowledging that launching a new venture is going to be more stressful than my past few months have been, and will involve more time spent actively working.

I’m learning how to be me, and how to move forward, learning new healthy patterns and ways of doing things. It’s not going to be easy, but with a new outlook on how I balance along the path, it’s shaping up to be a much more stunning journey.

For the time I have between now and flying east, I’m making myself a promise – I’m going to move easily through the planning and preparation, scheduling out time for yoga (aiming for 4 classes per week), making sure that I get enough sleep, taking time to eat, and prioritizing snuggles with my puppy.

Because, really – there’s nothing more important than us, no moment more important than now. Our work and our future all branch out from this moment, so we might as well enjoy it while it’s here.